Good god! She’s at it again! My sis…twin sis to be specific….identical twin sis to be accurate! Identical…in looks. That’s where it begins and ends….the identicalness I mean. She’s crying right now (Not to worry, she does that at the drop of a hat!) because I let her down! I have been patting her arm from the past God-Knows-How-Long! Please! Make this female stop sniveling! I had been getting a feeble urge to pee from the past 20 mins and the urge’s shifted gears from being feeble to extremely persistent…. Right then God heard my plea for help and her phone rang! As she picked up her phone, her whole disposition changed faster than you can say Duh?! It was one of her friends who had called up to share her expedition to the latest mall.
I grabbed the god sent opportunity and was rushing to the Loo as I heard the “Ohhh”s and “Ahhh”s and “Really”s and “You’re Kiddin”s! Huh! Typical sis! Crying her heart out this minute and yakking off animatedly the very next! A few minutes of a biological activity and a flush later, I was back to patting her arm. Sigh! The things I am forced to do as a Twin sis!
You know, am not much of a shopper... Hey! Stop giving me that knowing smile! Am not kidding! I seriously don’t like shopping! I said stop it! OK that does it! I REALLY DO NOT LIKE #@$@#%@#%@ SHOPPING! Good! That shut you up.
Where was I? Oh! Yeah…The things I end up doing for my sweet sis! I have to tag along every shopping trip because a) She might want me to pool in my pocket money if need be B) She needs somebody to hold her ten ton shopping bags C) I am her Twin sis. Period.
What’s with this conception of twins! We are individuals. Not “Two halves of the same whole” God! I hate that phrase! What I’m trying to say is, me and my sister are as different as can be. Unfortunately for me, my sis belongs to the Group that thinks “Twins! Two beings and almost 1 soul! “
Just the other day she was yapping on and on about this supercalifragilistic Bag of what’s-the-name…? yeah! Louis Vuitton! She had gushed, “what wouldn’t you give to own a bag like that!!?” I was already in a foul mood coz she had dragged me to this mall when I’d rather be catching the latest play at RS! So I just couldn’t resist replying “eh…not even a rat’s fart???” Madam was extremely miffed! She didn’t speak to me for 2 days flat!
What I’m trying to say is we are poles apart! I do not believe in this “Special bond” between twins shit! No sir! But sis…..Is someone who thinks there is some unseen, unexplainable bond between twins! Something that can only be felt and not explained! Oh! Come on!
Now that I’ve been pointing, underlying and literally screaming out my opinions, you would feel that I have very definite ideas that I truly believe in and vehemently defend them if anybody would dare contradict …Sigh! just when I thought I had the whole world figured out, The world comes back to me and says “U have so not figured me out yet honey” and knocks me flat!
What I’m about to recall now, this incident (catastrophe?) changed me as a person (and also made me a pauper for a month!). Confused? Let me enlighten you…
Let’s rewind back 2 weeks…..
Time: 8:30:27 PM
Date: 1.03.2009
Location: Earth…Er….to be a bit more specific… Bangalore (at a Friends place)
Me n Sweet sis are at a get-together (that’s what we told mum!) /party(which is the truth) We are having a great time catching up with some friends and gorging on good food , when the conversation steers towards a certain fellow and before you can say “here-goes” , he’s the butt of all jokes and the poor guy is down to the “Grin-and-bear-it” routine. Lemme tell you, If the victim is pushed till the limit, then this routine would usually lead to a “Siphon–The–Filth” routine. For those of you who dint get it: Shift the focus on a less fortunate soul so that all filth is now redirected towards the innocent by stander.
And in this case it was none other than my sweet sis. All sis had done was laugh @ the jokes aimed towards him and this guy so unfairly calls her an A**hole! She Froze …I was really annoyed and had a peek at sis and was horrified to see her nose was turning red… (Always a danger sign coz with sis its like: Step 1: Nose turns tomato red, Step 2: start shedding tears). Suddenly my eyes and her’s meet and still can’t say what exactly happened. . I just thought of a wonderful retaliation I would have given him back, and I could hear the same words coming out of my sis’s mouth as I was thinking them! It was as if I was dictating it to her! Her mouth had stopped moving… She had finished the sentence but I could still hear it ringing in my ears “Oh yeah? So what does that make you? An unwashed A**hole??” I was flabbergasted!! Everybody was laughing coz they found it extremely funny that my timid Sis was capable of cussing like this! .The only people not joining in the laughter were ourselves and the fellow at whom she had cussed. We were stunned! What HAD just happened here?! It was as if we could read each others thought for a minute there!
We dint talk to each other till we were back home and in our room. When we did talk about it, I had to admit to her stupid theory of The Special connection between twins! And yes…had to forgo an entire month’s worth pocket money to her since I had bet that there IS no Special Connection between Twins and she could never prove it otherwise! Sigh….The only other option I had to get my money back was this nightmare: We had to wear identical outfits for an entire month! Needless to say, I gladly gave up my money. And when I said this, she was aghast and cried “Why can’t you just agree this one time! It’s a twin thing!” ….am still patting her arm!
