It all began on that fateful day when I had come home feeling so damn depressed. I was depressed with almost everything in my life.. am not exaggerating. Tell me the most important aspect of an individual’s life in a very broad sense.. Family, Financial Security, Friends, Spiritual well being to name a few right? Well…let me bemoan about the state of my life at that point of time:
I was estranged from my mom/single parent as a result of a very nasty verbal spat which (I am ashamed to say) happened three years ago, so there’s family…
I was fired from my job as a result of the recession and was booted out with 3 months pay and some (lip) sympathies, there’s financial security…
I never had a real friend as long as I could remember. … so there go Friends….
I was, from as long back as I remember, a Person with very poor self esteem. I also used to end up feeling guilty for every small and silly thing. Yeah, I had a season’s pass for life to the Guilt Trip special!
That’s spiritual well being?!
So Family, Money, Friends, Spiritual well being? Hey, not for me! Throw them straight outside the window! Sigh! So…now do u agree with my statement? “Am Mega Depressed”.
So what? Why am I narrating a story about it? There are lot of people who get depressed…and what would happen next? Its easier to guess than the ending of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! So, what is the bloody point of this story when the ending is everybody’s guess!
Ending 1: They would become some sort of addicts!
Ending 2: They would turn into Psychopaths!
Ending 3: The lucky ones would get support and encouragement from family/friends and snap out of it!
Well.. the bloody point is…the ending is NOT, I repeat NOT any of the above…hell forget the above, its not even in your wildest imagination!
Now that I have your attention (with a little skepticism no doubt), lets proceed with the story.
I was lying on my bed in my dimly lit room, staring at the ceiling, I could hear the song “all by myself ” floating from my neighbour’s home (The irony of it!).….I was feeling very disturbed, felt like a hundred different things were going on in my head and none of them pleasant. My feeling of melancholy was increasing by the second and my face was screwed up with the effort of not wanting to …..I don’t know what..maybe cry? Kill myself? Or Kill some one else more like? I thought I was about to reach the limit of my sanity and was getting a bit alarmed that once I do, my brain would cave in and collapse…..still, I couldn’t control my emotions and I felt myself nearing that limit…and finally reach it…….
AND……….?
I started to calm down…..(I know, sort of a letdown!) and after a few minutes I tried to interpret the feeling ..and crazily, I felt that she was soothing me….but she??? Why did I think it was a girl? Why did I think some one was even there?!! Or maybe I hadn’t calmed down at all! Maybe I was insane! So.. this is how it felt to be insane!
I was confused and scared out of my wits, so I did the best thing that any person would do when they are scared (but no one ever admits this)…. switched on all the lights in my room…The bright lights gave me a bit of courage but then I heard a voice… “OK Drama Queen! Settle down!” My poor heart almost stopped. My first logical reaction was…maybe it’s the TV..but then I realized mine had conked the day before! Then where did the voice….?! I stammered “H..H..Hello?”
“I am right here! Turn to your right!” she said …I turned so swiftly, I craned my neck in the process. I was rubbing my neck and staring at the wall in my bedroom. I dint see anything there ..just a painting I had done long ago and some smudges of coffee I has spilled yesterday…Then I heard her again..”Are you blind? Cant you see how nicely my complexion contrasts your boring white wall??” It took a few seconds for me to realize….
My goddamn shadow????
I immediately had a mental image of some TV show crew setting this up and catching the reaction of the Bakra through hidden cameras…I snorted “this is obviously a gag!”. She replied “ Oh! Yeah? I can prove it!” and then I witnessed something that made me piss in my pajamas!
I was standing in front of the wall frozen like a statue while my shadow waves at me! And did a small sing-and-dance routine! I fainted.
I woke up to find myself on the floor, reeking of piss and my shadow asking me was I ok… I ran to the bathroom screaming like a maniac….I fumbled through my medicine cabinet searching frantically for something…anything.. that would rid me of this…insanity? hallucination? I was just about to pop some pills into my mouth when she warns “uh..huh…I don’t think that’s a good idea!”
I closed my eyes and started chanting to myself, sotto voice “None of this is real”.. but then, my self brain washing was being interrupted by a voice “Of Course it is! The sooner you start believing it, the better for you.”
I just couldn’t decide what to do….and ended up crying. She was silent the whole time I was sobbing into my towel. By the time my tears had stopped and my eyes had swollen to twice their normal size and turned blood red, I lifted my head out of the tear socked towel and had a peek at…her…. But my shadow seemed just that…..a shadow…..she was in the exact same position I was, holding the shadow of the towel in my hand. I was about to conclude the whole thing as a dream…when my attention was drawn towards my bathroom mirror…. She had left me a note! My mirror announced in bright red letters “Will talk to you tomorrow…Please don’t be such a baby about this!”
After an answer to an untimely nature’s call (will explain about this later….kinda embarrassing!), a quick shower and a change of pajamas, I was in bed…I was so freaked out that I couldn’t sleep so ended up in my balcony. I was gazing at the stars above with the background music “Mad world”, courtesy My Neighbour. That seemed so..so.. appropriate for the moment!
I got up quite late in the morning…Its usually after a mug of steaming hot coffee that my system would be up and running, but today I was suddenly jolted to full consciousness when my brain started playing yesterday’s unusual…er…phenomena… I was wide awake and as alert as can be without my first life giving cup of the day!
I ran to the bathroom, not because nature called, but due to the fact that nature was screaming! Regarding the nature’s call I had said I’d be explaining later…well, here goes…It’s a weird thing! Every time I’m s**t scared, I literally S**t! Yeah! That’s true! It happens to some people! After I’d done my thing, had a cup of steaming hot coffee, took a long shower and was about to step out when I noticed the message on the mirror. I didn’t let that upset me. I just took a deep breath and started distracting myself by thinking on what to do the whole day, as I was job-less at the moment. I gobbled down some breakfast and was off to the library near my home. I selected a few books on paranormal activities and settled myself in one of the corner desk.
I came home late in the evening a bit disappointed. I couldn’t find a single mention on shadows in the books. After dinner I decided to watch a movie.
I Was just about to put on a CD (” The Mask”, I never get tired of watching this!), when suddenly, I heard her! “OK Now! We’re gonna talk! So you can put that CD away!” My hands, which were in the process of pushing the “eject” button on the player, froze. I dunno for how long I maintained that pose but thought it was long enough when she started giggling. I retrieved my hand back, prayed for strength and turned towards my shadow…
But my shadow was…Normal! I was a bit confused.. Then I heard her again:
Spooky Shadow: “ No. I’m not your shadow. I’m actually a witch. I thought you might get scared to see a real witch, so had enchanted your shadow yesterday.”
Me: “Yeah, Right! A taking shadow wouldn’t scare me at all!!”
Witch(?) : “Oh! Sarcasm! That’s much better than…let me see…pajamas socked in piss?”
Me(blushing): “I feel stupid talking to thin air! Why can’t I see you, witch? ”
Witch: “ Witch?? I have a name..and It’d be appropriate if you address me by it! It’s Maleficent”
Me(laughing): “What?! Maleficent?? You are named after a famous Disney villain?? That’s real scary!! ”
Maleficent: “Ha Ha… I’ll make myself visible to you now….try not to scream”
Me: Gulp!
(Maleficent pops out of thin air and I gasp! She’s a bit scary. No..she isn’t ugly..far from it, she is a beauty but there is a sense of power about her that just took my breath away. With a superhuman effort, I control the urge to run away)
Maleficent: “Hmm…not bad. Some have even fainted ”
Me: “Your lot…they get acquainted with the likes of us??”
Maleficent: “Yes. We do when the need arises”
Me: “But why don’t we hear anything about this?”
Maleficent: “My! And here I had almost thought of you as girl with a bit of common sense! Would you go around telling people you’ve just met a witch…hmmm? ”
Me: “Oh! Go the point….stay mum or join the asylum..”
Maleficent: “OK Then! Lets get to the point… I, Maleficent the wise, am a member of the high council. It’s our job to reach out to humans in need. But we do so only to the pure of heart. I am here to guide you through this tough time in your life. Do you accept?”
Me: “?????? ”
Maleficent: “Well …? Aren’t you gonna say something? You’ll have to answer in affirmative for me to proceed….protocol you see.. ”
Me: “err…..yippee??”
Maleficent(smiling): “that’ll work.”
I was still in a state of stunned disbelief when she walked gracefully across the hall and sat on my sofa. As she arched one of her eyebrows questioningly, I realized I was still gaping at her, with a huge effort I recomposed my face and sat on the chair next to hers ..err, to be honest, it was the one opposite to hers…alright! Diagonally opposite!! Yes! Was still a bit scared of her! But as she started taking, I felt myself getting calmer by the second and also began to like this formidable female! Once I had gotten over the initial shock and the situation sunk in to my head, she suggested that we would commence the sessions by tomorrow.
That night I was curiously going through the probable way in which she’d help me. A magical incarnation? A potion? Some hocus pocus these witches do? Some spell that goes “boil and bubble toil and trouble”?? I sprinted to my desk and started to make a list when I heard the song “There’s magic in the air” and no prizes for guessing from where! Yes! My neighbour!
Well, I was totally off the mark. She offered me none of the above. She offered me Advice.
I was a bit disappointed because I thought it would need something extraordinary to set my life right. But my disappointment turned to delight as I started to seriously consider her advice and work on it. Things really started to fall into place!
I swallowed my fear/ego and rang up my mom. She was a bit stiff in the beginning but this conversation gradually swelled to more calls and finally we started meeting. I am happy to say we have reconciled and are really thrilled to be in each other’s lives. The other day we were at my place talking and gorging on some great P&B sandwiches when we heard the song “Mama, I love you” form next door. Right on!
Self-confidence. She explained that too less would make me a wuss and too much, a contemptuous ass. “Self confidence should boarder at arrogance to be just right.” she’d declared! It was really difficult at first but slowly I started being more confident about myself. I, who used to sweat at the thought of attending interviews, breezed through them with a finesse I’d never thought possible. Needless to say, within a few weeks, I landed with a great job! I got myself to a new outfit and had invited my mom over for a wonderful dinner. We were treated to the song “Strength of a woman” from my next-door-jukebox as we celebrated.
She taught me how to choose friends. An art most of us lack but are woefully unaware of the sad fact! I have two friends now. One, a colleague and the other a childhood friend long forgotten. I have a feeling this budding friendship will get stronger with time and go a long way. I had them over at my place one night for a pajama party. We were in the middle of a pillow fight and I thought I heard the faint notes of “I’ll be there for you” from somewhere.
She told me never to let go of my hobby…painting. She said each one of us have a special something, an extra gift that would make us unique. The trouble is many would never realize what it is but there are a few lucky ones who do realize it and build on the same. She said It'd be really tragic if they let go of it.I started painting again and the joy! I cannot describe it!
She bid me goodbye yesterday stating that her mission was accomplished. I was a bit sad to see her go but I was really thankful for the way things had turned out for me. I had no specific plans for the day and ended up painting.
I heard the song “It’s a wonderful wold” as I painted and couldn’t help but feel so at peace. It was then that I realized that my neighbour had been like a background music to the different scenes of my life’s play! Though it seemed preposterous at first, the more I thought about it, the surer I was. This was an astonishing coincidence! I was pretty sure this was a sign and literally ran to the balcony to have a look.
I was peering shamelessly into my next-door’s window when I was taken aback to find a curious pair of eyes staring back at me! I lost my nerve and was about to rush back inside when he came rushing out to his balcony. Suddenly, I couldn’t move or think. I was rooted to the spot. I don’t know if I can describe it right or do justice for the feeling with words. I felt that I had found my soul mate in this curly haired chocolate boy and by the awestruck look he was giving me, I’d say, the emotion was mutual!
