An Eye for an Eye… A world for a world

There she goes….a woman with a purpose. She had been preparing for this moment from eons…preparing, wondering, dreaming, fearing about it through millennia after millennia …but strangely when the time arrived, she was unexpectedly calm…maybe the calm before the storm? She was walking…no, gliding across the huge ocean with a single minded determination. Her mission was about to begin. She felt no emotion attached with what was entrusted to her by the highest authority of all.
She had watched the earth change…only she could see it among all the creatures inhibiting the one of a kind heavenly body-the humans christened Earth. She could because you need to be there for a very long time to see the change as the rate of change is immeasurably small for the pitiful life span of any living creature on the planet.
    She had observed the earth change for the worse and knew that the time was near. She had wondered all along about the unjust the entire system of life had to undergo because of a single selfish species– the Homo sapiens.
    This event was mentioned in the ancient and the first language of civilization. There was already a record of the coming events in this ancient literature though it was yet to happen! This surprised her more than anything…Perhaps the human race was more perspective than she gave them credit for.. maybe they would fare better in the next phase of time? Time will tell.
    She had hoped that the prophecy be wrong. She had hoped that mankind would slow down, stop and eventually return from the doom towards which they were heading. But it was not to be. The events unfolding were so precise, a non believer would have said that the events had happened first and the “prophecy” written later ..
    Mankind…what a strange word ..they should have been called ManUnkind. Observing them through time immemorial, she had watched with horror as they degenerated to the current state. The world in its current stage held no new borns, no infants, no toddlers, no adolescents, no teens and no elderly.

The average life span of a human was 30 years. Natural Procreation was absent. The only way of creating offsprings was to clone oneself, which only the rich could afford and many of them were not the least bit interested in creating a new life. So this was a rarity, hence population was alarming dwindling. As for the clones, they were created with their physical state equivalent to a 20 year old and had all the knowledge, mannerisms, fetish, etc…of their creators. So, life in a nutshell was: born as a 20 year old and have a life for 10 years. 
    When things reached this state, she knew that what needed to be done was to be done. And done be her alone. Her resolve hardened.
    She had reached the destined location. Now she had to summon the elements to her will, which was what she was born to do. This would be the final phase of time. Everything would go back as it was before time was time and she played the pivotal role in this. It was as written that this phase would be the worst of all and when evil reached it’s peak…then would be the time for her to act…it would be the End-of –the-world. Or she preferred to think of it as a “cleansing” rather than the end of something.
    She closes her mind on all trivial things she was thinking until this moment and loses herself completely to focus on the point she stands and starts to manipulate environmental factors so that they disobey the laws of physics…and so..it begins…
    A lighting flash so dazzling, it should have blinded her but doesn’t,  lights up the entire sky…and as if guided by her…concentrates into a line of brilliance and lands directly at her feet.
    An colossal wave raises from the point and splits into four …each travelling towards a different direction.. each second growing larger…the sky turns a frightening black..it’s as if the sun has disappeared!…She knows once the waves hit the shores, they will not stop there…they will continue their journey till the four mighty waves meet again and reunite… engulfing all in there path. They could do that because they weren’t just monstrous waves..they had the power of antimatter infused in them… ….thus giving them the power to annihilate everything… marine life, airborne creatures and land dwellers… It was a matter a few minutes and it was all over. She levitates to a much higher position and watches the new world sans any form of life.. she watches it with awe…the world she helped create….It all seemed so fast…her purpose is served. The moment she realizes this, another brilliant flash of light hits her directly and she vaporizes…becoming a single celled organism…  the only life form on the planet..the foundation of evolution to come.

Magical reality

It all began on that fateful day when I had come home feeling so damn depressed. I was depressed with almost everything in my life.. am not exaggerating. Tell me the most important aspect of an individual’s life in a very broad sense.. Family, Financial Security, Friends, Spiritual well being to name a few right? Well…let me bemoan about the state of my life at that point of time:

I was estranged from my mom/single parent as a result of a very nasty verbal spat which (I am ashamed to say) happened three years ago, so there’s family…

I was fired from my job as a result of the recession and was booted out with 3 months pay and some (lip) sympathies, there’s financial security…

I never had a real friend as long as I could remember. … so there go Friends….

I was, from as long back as I remember, a Person with very poor self esteem. I also used to end up feeling guilty for every small and silly thing. Yeah, I had a season’s pass for life to the Guilt Trip special!
That’s spiritual well being?!

So Family, Money, Friends, Spiritual well being? Hey, not for me! Throw them straight outside the window! Sigh! So…now do u agree with my statement? “Am Mega Depressed”.

So what? Why am I narrating a story about it? There are lot of people who get depressed…and what would happen next? Its easier to guess than the ending of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! So, what is the bloody point of this story when the ending is everybody’s guess!
Ending 1: They would become some sort of addicts!
Ending 2: They would turn into Psychopaths!
Ending 3: The lucky ones would get support and encouragement from family/friends and snap out of it!

Well.. the bloody point is…the ending is NOT, I repeat NOT any of the above…hell forget the above, its not even in your wildest imagination!

Now that I have your attention (with a little skepticism no doubt), lets proceed with the story.

I was lying on my bed in my dimly lit room, staring at the ceiling, I could hear the song “all by myself ” floating from my neighbour’s home (The irony of it!).….I was feeling very disturbed, felt like a hundred different things were going on in my head and none of them pleasant. My feeling of melancholy was increasing by the second and my face was screwed up with the effort of not wanting to …..I don’t know what..maybe cry? Kill myself? Or Kill some one else more like? I thought I was about to reach the limit of my sanity and was getting a bit alarmed that once I do, my brain would cave in and collapse…..still, I couldn’t control my emotions and I felt myself nearing that limit…and finally reach it…….

AND……….?

I started to calm down…..(I know, sort of a letdown!) and after a few minutes I tried to interpret the feeling ..and crazily, I felt that she was soothing me….but she??? Why did I think it was a girl? Why did I think some one was even there?!! Or maybe I hadn’t calmed down at all! Maybe I was insane! So.. this is how it felt to be insane!

I was confused and scared out of my wits, so I did the best thing that any person would do when they are scared (but no one ever admits this)…. switched on all the lights in my room…The bright lights gave me a bit of courage but then I heard a voice… “OK Drama Queen! Settle down!” My poor heart almost stopped. My first logical reaction was…maybe it’s the TV..but then I realized mine had conked the day before! Then where did the voice….?! I stammered “H..H..Hello?”

“I am right here! Turn to your right!” she said …I turned so swiftly, I craned my neck in the process. I was rubbing my neck and staring at the wall in my bedroom. I dint see anything there ..just a painting I had done long ago and some smudges of coffee I has spilled yesterday…Then I heard her again..”Are you blind? Cant you see how nicely my complexion contrasts your boring white wall??” It took a few seconds for me to realize….

My goddamn shadow????

I immediately had a mental image of some TV show crew setting this up and catching the reaction of the Bakra through hidden cameras…I snorted “this is obviously a gag!”. She replied “ Oh! Yeah? I can prove it!” and then I witnessed something that made me piss in my pajamas!

I was standing in front of the wall frozen like a statue while my shadow waves at me! And did a small sing-and-dance routine! I fainted.

I woke up to find myself on the floor, reeking of piss and my shadow asking me was I ok… I ran to the bathroom screaming like a maniac….I fumbled through my medicine cabinet searching frantically for something…anything.. that would rid me of this…insanity? hallucination? I was just about to pop some pills into my mouth when she warns “uh..huh…I don’t think that’s a good idea!”

I closed my eyes and started chanting to myself, sotto voice “None of this is real”.. but then, my self brain washing was being interrupted by a voice “Of Course it is! The sooner you start believing it, the better for you.”

I just couldn’t decide what to do….and ended up crying. She was silent the whole time I was sobbing into my towel. By the time my tears had stopped and my eyes had swollen to twice their normal size and turned blood red, I lifted my head out of the tear socked towel and had a peek at…her…. But my shadow seemed just that…..a shadow…..she was in the exact same position I was, holding the shadow of the towel in my hand. I was about to conclude the whole thing as a dream…when my attention was drawn towards my bathroom mirror…. She had left me a note! My mirror announced in bright red letters “Will talk to you tomorrow…Please don’t be such a baby about this!”

After an answer to an untimely nature’s call (will explain about this later….kinda embarrassing!), a quick shower and a change of pajamas, I was in bed…I was so freaked out that I couldn’t sleep so ended up in my balcony. I was gazing at the stars above with the background music “Mad world”, courtesy My Neighbour. That seemed so..so.. appropriate for the moment!

I got up quite late in the morning…Its usually after a mug of steaming hot coffee that my system would be up and running, but today I was suddenly jolted to full consciousness when my brain started playing yesterday’s unusual…er…phenomena… I was wide awake and as alert as can be without my first life giving cup of the day!

I ran to the bathroom, not because nature called, but due to the fact that nature was screaming! Regarding the nature’s call I had said I’d be explaining later…well, here goes…It’s a weird thing! Every time I’m s**t scared, I literally S**t! Yeah! That’s true! It happens to some people! After I’d done my thing, had a cup of steaming hot coffee, took a long shower and was about to step out when I noticed the message on the mirror. I didn’t let that upset me. I just took a deep breath and started distracting myself by thinking on what to do the whole day, as I was job-less at the moment. I gobbled down some breakfast and was off to the library near my home. I selected a few books on paranormal activities and settled myself in one of the corner desk.

I came home late in the evening a bit disappointed. I couldn’t find a single mention on shadows in the books. After dinner I decided to watch a movie.

I Was just about to put on a CD (” The Mask”, I never get tired of watching this!), when suddenly, I heard her! “OK Now! We’re gonna talk! So you can put that CD away!” My hands, which were in the process of pushing the “eject” button on the player, froze. I dunno for how long I maintained that pose but thought it was long enough when she started giggling. I retrieved my hand back, prayed for strength and turned towards my shadow…

But my shadow was…Normal! I was a bit confused.. Then I heard her again:

Spooky Shadow: “ No. I’m not your shadow. I’m actually a witch. I thought you might get scared to see a real witch, so had enchanted your shadow yesterday.”

Me: “Yeah, Right! A taking shadow wouldn’t scare me at all!!”

Witch(?) : “Oh! Sarcasm! That’s much better than…let me see…pajamas socked in piss?”

Me(blushing): “I feel stupid talking to thin air! Why can’t I see you, witch? ”

Witch: “ Witch?? I have a name..and It’d be appropriate if you address me by it! It’s Maleficent”

Me(laughing): “What?! Maleficent?? You are named after a famous Disney villain?? That’s real scary!! ”

Maleficent: “Ha Ha… I’ll make myself visible to you now….try not to scream”

Me: Gulp!

(Maleficent pops out of thin air and I gasp! She’s a bit scary. No..she isn’t ugly..far from it, she is a beauty but there is a sense of power about her that just took my breath away. With a superhuman effort, I control the urge to run away)

Maleficent: “Hmm…not bad. Some have even fainted ”

Me: “Your lot…they get acquainted with the likes of us??”

Maleficent: “Yes. We do when the need arises”

Me: “But why don’t we hear anything about this?”

Maleficent: “My! And here I had almost thought of you as girl with a bit of common sense! Would you go around telling people you’ve just met a witch…hmmm? ”

Me: “Oh! Go the point….stay mum or join the asylum..”

Maleficent: “OK Then! Lets get to the point… I, Maleficent the wise, am a member of the high council. It’s our job to reach out to humans in need. But we do so only to the pure of heart. I am here to guide you through this tough time in your life. Do you accept?”

Me: “?????? ”

Maleficent: “Well …? Aren’t you gonna say something? You’ll have to answer in affirmative for me to proceed….protocol you see.. ”

Me: “err…..yippee??”

Maleficent(smiling): “that’ll work.”

I was still in a state of stunned disbelief when she walked gracefully across the hall and sat on my sofa. As she arched one of her eyebrows questioningly, I realized I was still gaping at her, with a huge effort I recomposed my face and sat on the chair next to hers ..err, to be honest, it was the one opposite to hers…alright! Diagonally opposite!! Yes! Was still a bit scared of her! But as she started taking, I felt myself getting calmer by the second and also began to like this formidable female! Once I had gotten over the initial shock and the situation sunk in to my head, she suggested that we would commence the sessions by tomorrow.

That night I was curiously going through the probable way in which she’d help me. A magical incarnation? A potion? Some hocus pocus these witches do? Some spell that goes “boil and bubble toil and trouble”?? I sprinted to my desk and started to make a list when I heard the song “There’s magic in the air” and no prizes for guessing from where! Yes! My neighbour!

Well, I was totally off the mark. She offered me none of the above. She offered me Advice.
I was a bit disappointed because I thought it would need something extraordinary to set my life right. But my disappointment turned to delight as I started to seriously consider her advice and work on it. Things really started to fall into place!

I swallowed my fear/ego and rang up my mom. She was a bit stiff in the beginning but this conversation gradually swelled to more calls and finally we started meeting. I am happy to say we have reconciled and are really thrilled to be in each other’s lives. The other day we were at my place talking and gorging on some great P&B sandwiches when we heard the song “Mama, I love you” form next door. Right on!

Self-confidence. She explained that too less would make me a wuss and too much, a contemptuous ass. “Self confidence should boarder at arrogance to be just right.” she’d declared! It was really difficult at first but slowly I started being more confident about myself. I, who used to sweat at the thought of attending interviews, breezed through them with a finesse I’d never thought possible. Needless to say, within a few weeks, I landed with a great job! I got myself to a new outfit and had invited my mom over for a wonderful dinner. We were treated to the song “Strength of a woman” from my next-door-jukebox as we celebrated.

She taught me how to choose friends. An art most of us lack but are woefully unaware of the sad fact! I have two friends now. One, a colleague and the other a childhood friend long forgotten. I have a feeling this budding friendship will get stronger with time and go a long way. I had them over at my place one night for a pajama party. We were in the middle of a pillow fight and I thought I heard the faint notes of “I’ll be there for you” from somewhere.

She told me never to let go of my hobby…painting. She said each one of us have a special something, an extra gift that would make us unique. The trouble is many would never realize what it is but there are a few lucky ones who do realize it and build on the same. She said It'd be really tragic if they let go of it.I started painting again and the joy! I cannot describe it!

She bid me goodbye yesterday stating that her mission was accomplished. I was a bit sad to see her go but I was really thankful for the way things had turned out for me. I had no specific plans for the day and ended up painting.

I heard the song “It’s a wonderful wold” as I painted and couldn’t help but feel so at peace. It was then that I realized that my neighbour had been like a background music to the different scenes of my life’s play! Though it seemed preposterous at first, the more I thought about it, the surer I was. This was an astonishing coincidence! I was pretty sure this was a sign and literally ran to the balcony to have a look.

I was peering shamelessly into my next-door’s window when I was taken aback to find a curious pair of eyes staring back at me! I lost my nerve and was about to rush back inside when he came rushing out to his balcony. Suddenly, I couldn’t move or think. I was rooted to the spot. I don’t know if I can describe it right or do justice for the feeling with words. I felt that I had found my soul mate in this curly haired chocolate boy and by the awestruck look he was giving me, I’d say, the emotion was mutual!

Two peas in a pod

Good god! She’s at it again! My sis…twin sis to be specific….identical twin sis to be accurate! Identical…in looks. That’s where it begins and ends….the identicalness I mean. She’s crying right now (Not to worry, she does that at the drop of a hat!) because I let her down! I have been patting her arm from the past God-Knows-How-Long! Please! Make this female stop sniveling! I had been getting a feeble urge to pee from the past 20 mins and the urge’s shifted gears from being feeble to extremely persistent…. Right then God heard my plea for help and her phone rang! As she picked up her phone, her whole disposition changed faster than you can say Duh?! It was one of her friends who had called up to share her expedition to the latest mall.


I grabbed the god sent opportunity and was rushing to the Loo as I heard the “Ohhh”s and “Ahhh”s and “Really”s and “You’re Kiddin”s! Huh! Typical sis! Crying her heart out this minute and yakking off animatedly the very next! A few minutes of a biological activity and a flush later, I was back to patting her arm. Sigh! The things I am forced to do as a Twin sis!

You know, am not much of a shopper... Hey! Stop giving me that knowing smile! Am not kidding! I seriously don’t like shopping! I said stop it! OK that does it! I REALLY DO NOT LIKE #@$@#%@#%@ SHOPPING! Good! That shut you up.
Where was I? Oh! Yeah…The things I end up doing for my sweet sis! I have to tag along every shopping trip because a) She might want me to pool in my pocket money if need be B) She needs somebody to hold her ten ton shopping bags C) I am her Twin sis. Period.

What’s with this conception of twins! We are individuals. Not “Two halves of the same whole” God! I hate that phrase! What I’m trying to say is, me and my sister are as different as can be. Unfortunately for me, my sis belongs to the Group that thinks “Twins! Two beings and almost 1 soul! “

Just the other day she was yapping on and on about this supercalifragilistic Bag of what’s-the-name…? yeah! Louis Vuitton! She had gushed, “what wouldn’t you give to own a bag like that!!?” I was already in a foul mood coz she had dragged me to this mall when I’d rather be catching the latest play at RS! So I just couldn’t resist replying “eh…not even a rat’s fart???” Madam was extremely miffed! She didn’t speak to me for 2 days flat!

What I’m trying to say is we are poles apart! I do not believe in this “Special bond” between twins shit! No sir! But sis…..Is someone who thinks there is some unseen, unexplainable bond between twins! Something that can only be felt and not explained! Oh! Come on!

Now that I’ve been pointing, underlying and literally screaming out my opinions, you would feel that I have very definite ideas that I truly believe in and vehemently defend them if anybody would dare contradict …Sigh! just when I thought I had the whole world figured out, The world comes back to me and says “U have so not figured me out yet honey” and knocks me flat!
What I’m about to recall now, this incident (catastrophe?) changed me as a person (and also made me a pauper for a month!). Confused? Let me enlighten you…
Let’s rewind back 2 weeks…..
Time: 8:30:27 PM
Date: 1.03.2009
Location: Earth…Er….to be a bit more specific… Bangalore (at a Friends place)
Me n Sweet sis are at a get-together (that’s what we told mum!) /party(which is the truth) We are having a great time catching up with some friends and gorging on good food , when the conversation steers towards a certain fellow and before you can say “here-goes” , he’s the butt of all jokes and the poor guy is down to the “Grin-and-bear-it” routine. Lemme tell you, If the victim is pushed till the limit, then this routine would usually lead to a “Siphon–The–Filth” routine. For those of you who dint get it: Shift the focus on a less fortunate soul so that all filth is now redirected towards the innocent by stander.
And in this case it was none other than my sweet sis. All sis had done was laugh @ the jokes aimed towards him and this guy so unfairly calls her an A**hole! She Froze …I was really annoyed and had a peek at sis and was horrified to see her nose was turning red… (Always a danger sign coz with sis its like: Step 1: Nose turns tomato red, Step 2: start shedding tears). Suddenly my eyes and her’s meet and still can’t say what exactly happened. . I just thought of a wonderful retaliation I would have given him back, and I could hear the same words coming out of my sis’s mouth as I was thinking them! It was as if I was dictating it to her! Her mouth had stopped moving… She had finished the sentence but I could still hear it ringing in my ears “Oh yeah? So what does that make you? An unwashed A**hole??” I was flabbergasted!! Everybody was laughing coz they found it extremely funny that my timid Sis was capable of cussing like this! .The only people not joining in the laughter were ourselves and the fellow at whom she had cussed. We were stunned! What HAD just happened here?! It was as if we could read each others thought for a minute there!

We dint talk to each other till we were back home and in our room. When we did talk about it, I had to admit to her stupid theory of The Special connection between twins! And yes…had to forgo an entire month’s worth pocket money to her since I had bet that there IS no Special Connection between Twins and she could never prove it otherwise! Sigh….The only other option I had to get my money back was this nightmare: We had to wear identical outfits for an entire month! Needless to say, I gladly gave up my money. And when I said this, she was aghast and cried “Why can’t you just agree this one time! It’s a twin thing!” ….am still patting her arm!

Wings on my Shoulders

Look! Just look at that! Isn't it pretty? Mother earth sure is a lovely thing. Sigh...The oceans look so lovely from space don't you think? I think you are wondering who can this be who’s talking about a point of view only astronauts or ET s have experienced. Ha! Ha! FYI...I'm neither...oh! Wait.... before the thought comes to your mind, I'm neither a couch potato watching the world through the idiot box! Any more guesses? Give up? ... am an angel.

Yup! The real thing with a halo and wings! It’s not such a big deal you know. When I first got my wings I was so excited as wings are something absolutely new to flightless humans. My initial reaction was...Yahoo! I have wings! I can fly! I was on the 9^th cloud (In my case literally because I bunk in cloud #009!) But after a while you just get used to the whole thing! You know...It's just like having an arm or a leg...they are very important for you to function but you never realize it, right? The halo? Well....I couldn’t sleep for a few days because I can't switch off the halo! It’s always bright and I need total darkness when I go to bed. After the third day of sleepless night, one of my fellow angels, an older and a much wiser one suggested that I use one of the night masks, you know a black mask for your eyes... worked like a charm! You know what, I died a month back. Yeah! You heard me right! Was later deemed a good soul by a committee of “Fate churners” and went through some formalities and then...boom! Am an apprentice angel! I am still getting used to being one! The other day, I was painting something (Am an artist) and because of my carelessness, spilled the entire bottle of paint on Annie's wings!! Boy! Was she mad! I had a tough time washing her wings you know and it didn't help that she was grumbling and muttering all the while. I am flying properly nowadays...It’s not the flying but the landing that’s extremely difficult. I say this because I've done some pretty disastrous ones myself! I'm getting the hang of it now but am no where near the graceful landings of others but am learning.

Life up here is pretty good! Excellent food, Exquisite lifestyle and I don't mean living like the filthy rich! What I mean is that we live as a colony, there's no personal gain in anything, everything is free! There's nothing called money here. People just do their work and are waiting for others to take their wares or use their services. I display my paintings in the market every other week. If someone likes them, they just pick it up. George the baker bakes some of the finest pastries and anyone can just walk in and gobble whatever they want! Its the same with everything, be it clothes, Hotels, parlors, cabs, you name it. Everyone works and they get satisfaction in return. We all live in harmony. There's no one who’s rich or poor, beautiful or ugly...all are equal. Once you enter these gates as an angel, you will have a heart of gold that knows no evil, no jealousy, no sorrow. Anger? Yes. A bit. We do get angry when the ones for whom we're the guardians are up to no good. We sometimes get angry with each other but nothing ever goes out of hand, after bickering for a while, things are back to normal but it is not the same with teen angles(TAs)...Sigh! They have a long way to go and a lot to learn. They take a lot more time to get adjusted here. By the time they do get adjusted, they are no longer teens! The other day, I saw two TAs being dragged along by one of the older lot. It was quite apparent that the two of them were fighting! You should have seen the halo of one of them! It looked kinda like a amoeba! The half of the other's wing had no feathers! I pity the guys working in the amendment department. They are called the 'Set Righters'. The TAs see to that these guys work round the clock!

Once our lives as humans come to an end on mother earth, many of us serve the Lord as Angels. We angels act as guardians to many human lives. Once our role as an angel ends, we join the lord himself. I still have a long way to go before I attain the ultimate salvation.

Am I upside down or is the world?!

I'm feeling so sick watching my friend. She's all starry eyed and is just melting off like an ice cream! I turn to my right and my other two friends are no better and all because it's their favorite hero on screen whose doing a stupid song-n-dance routine right now! Me? No way! This guy? Ugh! I keep seeing the real guy he is and not who he is trying to be. I keep seeing a birdbrain who smokes worse than a steam engine, a pompous ass with an inflated head so big that you wouldn't find a cap that’s large enough and this fellow is supposed to be an youth icon! Man! The kinda message this guy delivers to the young crowd.
Anyway... am supposed to be enjoying this movie right now. Mission impossible. Just tell me why would anyone want to know how a loser of a guy (aka the hero) gets over his jealousy on his wife's hot boyfriend?! Some story! Sometimes I think I don't belong here, with my three 'friends' I mean....three Barbie doll wannabes and a bohemian chick....it doesn't need a rocket scientist to figure the odd-one-out, right?!
The torture ends after 2 and half-hours. I am in a pensive mood as I get out of the torture cell, where? Oh where was my bloody brain when I had actually paid 50% of my month's pocket money and got myself an undisturbed 2 hrs of pure and unfiltered boredom! And on top of that, there was an offer too....free headache with every ticket! We got onto our bikes (their bikes actually which were all a sickly shade of baby boo pink! yuck!) and got out of the torture grounds, which was a very challenging task given the fact that a weenie mosquito couldn't have found any space to park its butt.
Once on the road, my friend started off about the movie. This is what I dread after going through a mundane movie, its the “Lets-analyze-each-and-every-shot” discussion. Me being the pillion rider, couldn't get away and had to drop monosyllables like “Yup” “Right” “Nope” every now and then think you got the picture.
We stopped over at one of the over priced ice cream parlors (the kind I feel do a job no different than highway robbers) I would have loved a cup of hot SLV coffee instead. Anyway, paid up with what was left in my jute purse and gorged on some frozen blob of ultra sweet fat. By the time I was out of the place, my poor purse had decided to file for bankruptcy. That’s when it hit me, I could save myself from being declared a pauper right now!
One of my friends, an 'always-borrow-never-return' type, had borrowed 500 bucks from me some(a long)time ago. I think this is the right time to give her a gentle reminder about it. What's wrong in asking back YOUR own money?! I got the 'how can you be so cheap?' and "what's money in friendship" looks when I brought it up. I mean, c'mon! It's mine for heavens sake and YOU should be the one feeling like a heel for not returning it! After they had gotten over the initial shock that their friend was so petty, the girl in question brushed it off with a 'Oh! Right.....'. I reacted with 'I kinda want it now'. More horrified looks followed and as she was fishing out the dough from her purse, she had the look on her face that equated to a poor girl being forced to give her hard earned savings to a bandit!
As I pocketed the loot, something told me I would never be a part of this group anymore. Thinking about the kinda movies I was forced to watch and the kinda mindless conversations I had to tolerate, I felt liberated! but if they decide to forgive me, I'm gonna inquire about my shoes the other one had borrowed a week back.

The unusual journey of a foundling

I am trying to unlock the door...THE door, not my home's door or MY door...I say 'THE' because I don’t feel a sense of belonging with it....the apartment I mean. Hi, I am Vibha. Working, Single, Struggling.

Working...to make ends meet, to have a better life than the one I have, to survive.
Single....in every sense..no friends, no soul mate, no family.
Struggling.....to understand the Purpose of my life on this planet at this particular time period where people are mundane enough to follow “Reality” shows and never ending soaps.

I am an Orphan. I was told that I had been brought to the Orphanage’s doorstep when I was a month old. I grew up with the nuns who took care of the place. I did well at school, went through college and landed with a job. A boring 9 to 5 job with work so monotonous, it could drive anyone crazy but hey! That’s not important as long as you got money, right? Money to live in a world that runs on this special paper. Now that I had a source of income, was deemed independent enough to be on my own…in other words, was kicked out of the only place in the whole wide world that I was familiar with. That I had mistaken to be my permanent abode.

Three months later….

Vibha here. I have news for you…Shantanu. Yes, that’s his name. He is one of my colleagues. A wonderful man whom I am currently dating. I am feeling a bit strange. I don’t know how to express that feeling. What is this that I feel so strongly towards this man? Love? Care? Whatever it is, it does feel good! It feels good to have a cup of coffee with a pinch of laughter, to have a meal spiced up with conversation, to feel so alive with a touch, a hug, a kiss. I am certainly thankful for having such a wonderful man to share my life with…but I still don’t get that sense of belonging. There is something missing and I am unable to find that missing piece in the Jigsaw puzzle of my life.

Three Years Later…

My name is Vibha. Vibha Shantanu. I got married to my sweetheart after a courtship of a year. Married life was a piece of heaven. Never could have asked for more, but I did get something more than I had asked or even hoped for.  It had been two years of martial bliss when I got to experience the journey to motherhood... I  was being rushed to the Hospital. I was about to deliver my baby.

A Painful Miracle later....

I felt so strange the moment my tiny, ‘just delivered’ daughter was placed in my arms. This was something I had never experienced in my entire life...Seeing another soul sharing my blood. I had never seen that before! No parents, no siblings, no cousins, no aunts or uncles in my life. Even my husband, my soul mate, the one I love, the one who has brought joy to my life does not share my blood but this tiny life in my hand does. I finally felt it.The sense of belonging.