Deadly Deo

Hello Readers,

I'm again back to the first person narrative with this one. My natural style of writing and the one I'm most comfortable with. 

This is not as serious or dark as my previous posts. Please don't try to read more into it and forget what it basically is - a light take on a 'what if' situation. Hope you  guys like it. 

Have a very merry Christmas and a Happy new Year!! A suggestion: Why don't you make a resolution to comment on my posts :P

****************************************************************************************************

          I was in a hurry! I had to dash out of the apartment in exactly 10 mins! I had a steaming mug of coffee in my hand, a huge collection of bills in my other, hair a mess, and was still in my bathrobe and was yet to change into the clothes I had laid out on my bed…..and I realize my deo is over! Empty! It’s something I need before I get out of the house! I will be too self conscious if I try to brave the day without my faithful deo! I have a brainwave and dash to his wardrobe and grope around in the unholy mess till my fingers clasp around the familiar cool container. I take it out and liberally spray it on myself. Ohhh! A bit strong! And a bit strange! This doesn’t smell like his usual deo..maybe he’s trying a new one… But hey! Not complaining! I’m just grateful to have a deo to use!

           After exactly 10 mins, I am dashing out of our apartment and trying to hail a taxi…unsuccessfully. I am so frustrated that I just look up at the heavens and let out a scream! To my astonishment, a taxi screeches to halt in front of me! I am really pleased and hop in. I immediately let the driver know my intended destination and relax in the backseat. I think I have dozed off for a while when suddenly I’m jolted awake by some rap music! I frown and try to tell her to cut the volume down when the lyrics hit me and God! Are they offending! Instead of reprimanding her, I just blush and am at loss for words! Especially since she’s mouthing the lyrics and watching me from her rear view mirror which I shocking note is directed towards me and not the traffic! She gives me a wink!

           I immediately ask her to stop, pay and jump out of the car without even bothering to get the change. I am still a few blocks away from office, but somehow, just can’t muster enough courage to get into another taxi..so I decide to walk the rest of the way. She really creeped me out!

          Am nearing my office when I spot Sue, the hot dog vendor.  I smile at her in relief! I am damn hungry as I’ve skipped breakfast! I walk up to her with a ‘Hello Sue! The usual please’ when she gives me a weird smile, not at all the usual friendly one she used to give me but kinda..i dunno…

Her hand lingers on mine when I am taking the hotdog from her and when I try to pay, she goes ‘Oh no no! It’s on me sugar!’ I literally run to my office!

            I frantically keep pushing the elevator buttons till one of them opens. I rush in as fast as I can. I feel a little safe inside and calm down a bit. There is a blonde in the lift who works with the packaging department. I greet her with a smile as the doors close. As the doors open, I sprint out of the lift and leaving her with a black eye! I just don’t want to narrate what happened in the damn lift!

It went on like this the whole day! I had women hitting on me left and right! Women I knew, strangers, women I hate..all of them!  And what had me flummoxed was that I knew most of them if not all…were straight as an arrow!

           I took the metro home. Just wasn’t ready to get into another taxi. I reached home to find the man frantically searching for something in his wardrobe.  In spite of my exhausting day, I am curious and walk to him and ask him what he’s searching for. He goes “My genetically enhanced spray! The one I was experimenting on! I cannot find it anywhere!!’

           I guiltily go ‘uh oh! Do you mean this?’ and hold out the container I had used in the morning. He grabs it from me and checks the contents. He then gives me a look worthy of Satan! ‘It’s empty’ he states in a deceptively calm voice. I gulp and slowly explain I had used it in the morning.

His demeanor changes in an instant! He says ‘Oh! Did you? That is great! I had thought you had thrown it away or something! But this is good!’

           I am so relieved he’s not angry anymore, I forget to ask about the spray. He’s totally excited and starts running about grabbing notes and blabbering non stop.

He makes me sit down on the sofa, brews me some coffee and after patiently letting me finish it, starts with the questions.

           It is then that I realize he’s working on a new enhanced deodorant for men. I do not get it at first but when I slowly realize the potential of this invention, I am dumbfounded! Part of me wants to congratulate my man for his invention is indeed a success!  All those cheesy deo commercials where a girl falls for a guy by merely smelling him! So tacky. But he has turned this into reality! None of the girls could help falling for me!

But then another voice in my head immediately resorted ‘but they weren’t themselves! They were forced to like you against their will!’ That got me thinking and I stopped myself from blurting out what had happed that day.

I thought about this…’Let me first analyze their behavior tomorrow and then decide how I’m going to play this’. I made up my mind and told him sweetly ‘ Why don’t we do this tomorrow evening?’ I rushed to explain when he got a bit angry and started to argue back and said ‘That way, I 'can also get you information on how potent this is! Whether its effects last more than a day!’

           That got him! More data for analysis! He nodded in agreement and started preparing the questions for me tomorrow. Whew! Am off the hook for now!

**********************************The day of reckoning ********************

When I got up the next day, I had a very clear plan in my head. I got ready and after assuring him I’d not get caught up in my work and forget the deal, I got down to the lobby and went outside. I was wondering how to get the taxi..not a taxi…but THE taxi…but I needn’t have worried...I spotted her. She had parked the car and was looking at my direction. I guess she was waiting for me! I was beginning to think this wasn’t such a great plan after all when she got out of the car and started walking towards me. I thought this was my clue to put as much distance I can between me and her and started to back off, but I came to a halt when I saw her raise her hands as if in an apology and gave me an embarrassed look.

            I stood there suspiciously, I was in a good spot. I could scream if I had to and I was just in front of my building and a lot of people would come to me if I’m in trouble. So, I stood my ground and let her approach me. She looked very sheepish and stammered an apology and told me she had a boyfriend and was straight and had absolutely no idea what came over her yesterday and said she was so sorry for having freaked me out.

           I accepted a ride to office in the very same cab which she offered to me as a token of apology. I was thinking about this all through the ride to Office. When I finally reached office, I insisted she take payment for the ride and told her everything was cool.

            I immediately walked towards Sue. She was not her normal cheerful self. She in fact looked a bit worried. When she saw me, her face drained of all color and she looked so pale! She was frightened! She just stood there looking at me and at loss for words. She handed me a note and turned away and continued her work. I read the note which apologized to me and said she was very confused and didn’t know what had come over her yesterday! She had freaked out afterwards! I told her it was no big deal and teased her for a bit. That got things back to normal and she gave me a tentative but friendly grin.

          It was the same thing at office, either they were too mortified to talk to me and avoided me totally or were profusely apologetic about yesterday.

          I was thinking about this all the way back home and had made my decision. This stupid thing had robbed away those poor women’s free will and the actions they did were because of the influence of the spray and all of them regretted it later. This thing was too dangerous! If this prototype gets out and is manufactured and sold….No! I will not let it be!

          I take a deep breath and entered the apartment. After half an hour, I had succeeded in convincing him that the deo didn't do anything extraordinary. I told him that the women kept remarking that I kind of smelt a bit weird and were a bit repelled by it. I lied to him about his work being a failure. His crestfallen face really tested my resolve but I just couldn’t let such an unjust thing happen to womenfolk! 

          I am an unsung heroine for all of womankind! Only I know the gravity of the situation that I’ve handled! Not a soul in the world is witness to this! This makes it all the more surreal.